suffucktrails

2008-10-15T18:01:00.000-07:00

Mernardo jumped the entire first roller contraption today.........soooo.....that's pretty cool. SAY NO TO CLIPS

2008-10-15T15:51:00.000-07:00

We had another meeting with the suits at Woodstock park this week. It went about as well as a discussion amongst polar opposite groups of people could go. They want to know exactly what obstacles we want, where we want them, and how much dirt each jump will take to make (in cubic yards). Needless to say it turned into a clusterfuck immediately. The only real conclusion that we were able to reach is that these dudes have absolutely no idea what we are talking about. We may as well be speaking japanese. And nothing is going to happen until we find a way around this communications breach. We're thinking of making a zine style pamphlet with a glossary of terms maybe a few points on etiquette, tools we need, digging techniques and everything in order to get everyone on the same page. Other than that things are looking good. We'll keep you posted.

2008-10-09T16:34:00.000-07:00

bomb shelter

mitch and the Charlie Brown trail tomato plant

The second jump in Talledega is now the world's coolest roller.

Popple may be a little light in the loafers, but I'll be damned if he can't ride that bike.

2008-10-07T16:15:00.000-07:00

The city of Virginia Beach is considering a municipally subsidized kingdom of terragnar. We met with the Parks and Rec dudes the other morning to scout the spot and bounce some ideas around. They pretty much gave the go ahead and left the ball in our court to take some initiative. Here is the e-mail that the dude sent us after the meeting along with this official looking pdf attachment punch list thing. REALLY COOL. Stay tuned for ways to get involved.

Gentlemen,
This message is to follow-up on our meeting yesterday at Woodstock Community Park regarding the initial evaluation of trails there for BMX use. As we discussed yesterday, we’re proposing a multi-step process in evaluating the feasibility of improvement of the trails in the southwest, wooded area of the park for utilization by BMX riders.

For the purposes of this evaluation project, I will be the lead from Parks and Recreation/Planning, Design and Development (P & R/PDD) and you can be called the BMX Trail Committee, with Craig Welch as the current contact person. If he is ok with it, Shawn Hopson will be the initial lead with Parks and Recreation/Parks and Natural Areas Operations (P & R/P & NA).

I’ve attached proposed action items with target dates in order to keep this project moving.

Please feel free to let me know if you have any suggested changes to the attached information. Otherwise, I will be back in touch with you once we have the existing trail network mapped and have created a baseline map.

Thanks,
Brian

Brian S. Solis, AICP
Senior City Planner

EVALUATION OF WOODSTOCK COMMUNITY PARK FOR
POTENTAL BMX TRAIL NETWORK
October 3, 2008
This message to the file is a follow-up to a meeting held yesterday at Woodstock Community Park regarding the initial evaluation of trails there for BMX use.

Those in attendance include:
Craig Welch – Skate Park Planning Advisory Committee original member – BMX advocate
Kitt West – BMX advocate
Thomas Holman – BMX advocate
George Filomarino – Parks and Recreation/Parks and Natural Areas Operations
Shawn Hopson – Parks and Recreation/Parks and Natural Areas Operations
Greg Newman – Parks and Recreation/Planning, Design and Development
Brian Solis – Parks and Recreation/Planning, Design and Development

As discussed yesterday, Parks and Recreation (P&R) staff is proposing a multi-step process in evaluating the feasibility of improvement of the trails in the southwest, wooded area of the park for utilization by BMX riders. For the purposes of this evaluation project, Brian Solis will be the lead from Parks and Recreation/Planning, Design and Development (P & R/PDD) and the BMX advocates can be called the BMX Trail Committee, with Craig Welch as the current contact person. Shawn Hopson will be the initial lead with Parks and Recreation/Parks and Natural Areas Operations (P & R/P & NA).

Here is the proposed action item list and target dates to initially guide this project:
1) Document the trails with GPS device and download to GIS in order to create a raw trail map as a baseline for trail planning purposes (lead: P & R/PDD)
Target Date: 10/10/08
2) Meet with BMX Trail Committee at Woodstock to walk the trail with the raw trail map to mark areas for potential improvements (i.e. banks, ramps, and hills) (lead: P& R/PDD and Committee)
Target Date: 10/15/08 - after the raw map is complete, we’ll contact you to meet on or about
10/15/08
3) Committee members will need to forward P & R/PDD images of each of the potential
improvements, with measurement estimates, that are agreed upon at the on-site meeting in order to incorporate into the final draft trail map. Committee should also forward P & R/PDD any BMX trail-riding etiquette and safety operating standards that can be considered in the City potentially managing the trails. (lead: BMX Trail Committee)
Target date: 10/21/08
4) Revise conceptual Woodstock BMX Trail Map to incorporate trail improvements onto map to create a final draft document for Parks and Recreation/Parks and Natural Areas Operations staff to review. (lead: P&R/PDD)
Target Date: 10/27/08
5) Internal review of draft Woodstock BMX Trail Map and associated operational issues between P& R/PDD and P & R/P & NA.
Target Date: 11/7/08 (lead: P & R/PDD will set up meeting which will be held the week of
11/3/08)
6) Milestone: Further action items to be determined after 11/3/08 depending on results of internal review of the final draft BMX trail map by P & R.

2008-10-01T08:33:00.000-07:00

Derek and Steve climbed the tower

Texas Motor Speedway.

new slingshot

Sean Meeker lives at P.O.S now

mushroom tits

Behind the scenes look at Steve's new default. I wish I was joking.

2008-08-25T08:58:00.000-07:00

Took a trip to pittsburgh for protoz's jam this weekend. It was eye opening to say the least. Pennsylvania is on some next level shit. And I ate a jr bacon cheeseburger. fuck it.

Tabletop by none other than punjab himself. Did you know that it is pronounced "poon jab"? not "pun jab". me either.

To my knowledge mark mulville is still in orbit somewhere above pennsylvania. Homeboy was blasting.

dtf

completely irrelevant

Balls would not stop riding.

jon saunders sighting

Here are some video clips. Sorry about the sideways camera again. Look how big the jump is that the guy "what the fucks" on and look how high mulville was going.

It was a way more epic weekend than this half assed blog entry will lead you to believe. I bitched out on jumping some stuff and now i totally regret it. i smell a redemption trip. big thanks to protoz and the protoz family for their hospitality.

2008-08-05T18:38:00.000-07:00

Our task this week at work was to install horse shoe pits for the city of suffuck at a couple of parks. Apparently the Suffolk Horse Shoe league has lobbied for the improvements for quite some time. One of the head honchos at the horse shoe league kept checking in on us to be sure that the pits were regulation size and distance or that we were using the right type of sand and so forth. He was kind of a dick, but he and his boys ended up with some pretty dope horse shoe pits. I crunched some numbers and figured the entire project must have cost the tax payers almost three grand. My point is that if the Suffolk Horse Shoe League can make things happen then why can't we? Squeaky wheel gets the grease. Lets get involved.

Great Bridge Andy donated his 7ft quarter to the trails. 69! hehehe

An afternoon's worth of roots

still kickin

bakers acres

2008-08-03T18:37:00.000-07:00

Evan, Mike, Trouble and I gambled on the rain and motored the Buick to baker acres for the weekend. Chopper was kind enough to lend me his camera. Unfortunately I was only able to snap a few picture because we were way too busy cruising down that hill to stop and blog about it. Maybe if we elaborate a little.

Trouble dog rolled her face up in the car window on the way home. Those eyes, god damn those eyes.

So we woke up at the trails saturday morning and everyone decides to head down to aunt somebody's house for a dip in the swimming hole. The majority of my time was spent forcing a rather stubborn poop to submission in the outhouse. That's right, a real, hole in the ground outhouse complete with deer antler t.p holder and the whole nine.

So about the time I am wrapping things up in the outhouse kelly walks up and says " anybody wanna take such and such's car out around the motocross track?" Twenty three years of being kitt west has tempered my patience in situations such as these. Play it cool man, ice cold. No need to get your hopes up. Like calling backseat on purpose. Take your stupid shotgun. Funny thing was that nobody really seemed to be jumping at the opportunity. Everyone just sort of stood there while kelly scanned the crowd for volunteers. So I raised my hand. fuck yeah I want to jump cars with kelly baker. Are these dudes retarded? Eventually two other dudes joined in and we all pile into this late model geo metro with no head lights and a wooden bumper (i got backseat). Kelly had punched a hole in the windshield the night before in a drunken stupor. The second Kelly turned the key it was obvious why only out of towners willingly get into a car with coach baker. We're talking pedal to the metal the whole time. Dude is a regular Bo Duke. We caught backside on the table top several times high enough to clear a recycling bin easy. The picture below was taken as the shocks bottomed out on the way up the face of the jump. The impact ripped the camera out of my hands and into the floorboard where it was to remain for the rest of our hell ride. Sorry chop. The last jump really rang our bells so we put the car back just as the check engine light came on. I am told the owner never had a clue.

Never spilled a drop

Found out that Crandog is an ordained minister? He showed me his little card approved by the big guy and everything. Kelly and Laura had been meaning to renew their vows so we had a little ceremony right there in front of the fire pit with big job and the little bakers as witnesses. It was like the notebook.

Big job estates or the big job taj. Whatever you want to call it.

Bmx lip tat.

Jammer's bike gets crows nested.

Dudes

Buno tames the serpent beast through a parting sea of thorns. Too much metal.

2008-07-22T19:37:00.000-07:00

I lost my camera which kind of puts a damper on things. The only fun you have missed is pee wee jumping everything on a sixteen inch, rabid foxes eating through the trash can, racer pat's triumphant return from knee surgery, and digging something fierce on the new slingshot which is slated for completion sometime around 2012.

Howard came out and took a bunch of cool photos. peep it at getridiculous.blogspot.com

you might have to scroll down some. get howard to take your sister's senior portraits.

In the mean time, i found this video project from a "time based art" class i got suckered into filling my schedule with circa 2005. I got a "D" on it because apparently it wasn't artsy fartsy enough when anyone can see that it represents man's inhumanity towards man (duh). A little over their heads i guess. I wish mat v would come ride. Be sure to stay tuned for the bonus footage.

2008-07-12T18:22:00.000-07:00

You know what's good? A peanut butter and watermelon sandwich. Sounds kind of cooky, but it's delicious I promise. Make sure you apply peanut butter to both sides of the bread and slice the watermelon really thin.

Found more dinosaur eggs. This time instead of eating them we planted them in a styrofoam cooler/incubator so maybe they will hatch and we will have a nest of little trail pterodactyls. That would be sick huh? "Yo man you been out to those suffuck trails? I heard they've got pterodactyls flying around dude."

Slingshot is getting a face lift

Salmonella and std's

2008-07-03T10:19:00.000-07:00

It's been an epic week for Dylan. First he lost his virginity to a 20 year old (he's 16), then he came to the trails and fired out a bunch of moves, then he made 30 bucks by eating an egg that we found. Hell yeah dylan.

This is a double tire grab. Don't trust my photography. This shit was dope. The wheel stopped.

balls could could

Can we call this one the bobsled after ball's favorite sexual position in which you bang the girl out from behind at the top of a staircase and when you are done you kick her arms out from under her and ride down the stairs on her back like a bobsled? yep, we're going to call this type of one footer the bobsled.

Pee wee got four days suspension from school for starting a food fight in the lunchroom. His mom gave him a grocery bag of vegetables to take along that morning. He denied involvement all the way to the principal's office where they watched surveillance footage of him beaming a tomato at some kid's face.

drought

God I love riding bmx bikes.

The first half of this video is dylan eating the mystery egg for 30 bucks and the second half is us dissecting a second mystery egg only to discover the embryo of a dragon. Definitely one of the top five coolest things ever.

enjoy your karma

2008-06-24T14:14:00.000-07:00

O.G line from the air

How we livin?

There are twenty five beer cans in this photograph

P Mike at those trails in Richmond

Rare Christian dirt jumping sighting. With a mohawk no less.

This kid's bottom bracket was latered, but not epicly

In this video you will find: people peeing themselves, richmond trails, kitt vs. shrub whiplash, Tommy Barnes doing a stunt, and lots of people jumping off stuff into water. All the clips that I filmed are sideways because I am dumb. Deal with it.

sunday scorcher

2008-06-08T19:46:00.000-07:00

It was hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut out there.

Backflip Drew is back in town after seven months at sea. Never missed a beat, just stoked to be on his bike again.

shiver the whole night through

robster craw

i watched chris rycon (is that how you spell that?)take a shit in the woods today.

pee wee was charging

balls turned his boxers around so his wang didn't pop out.

Then we ate mexican.

2008-06-06T09:37:00.000-07:00

Stage Fright

2008-06-03T13:33:00.001-07:00

dude, you have to go to youporn and type in "dildo bike". trust me.

2008-06-02T17:10:00.000-07:00

Not what you want to see when you show up to the trails. Supposedly they are installing another row of power lines. These dudes were clearing the brush so that the surveyors could do their thing. I got home from work to the sound of equipment running from the direction of the trails so I sprinted back there to find a bunch of old dudes walking around scratching their heads wondering what the hell all these dirt mounds were. I tried to explain but they still didn't understand so I got my bike and took a couple of runs for them. You would have thought that I took X-Games gold by how stoked they were. Then we hung out for a while discussing digging techniques and why it sucks that Dale Jr. doesn't drive for Budweiser anymore because nobody wants to rock a Mountain Dew sticker on their truck. I wanted to take a picture of one of them sitting on my bike or something but couldn't muster up the courage to ask. Of course deep inside I was contemplating decapitating all of them. Lets face it, this very well may be the demise of my favorite place on earth. What can you do? You can't fault the dudes for trying to make a living. At the end of the day we are all on the same side. Bike track or no bike track.

yes!

This is one of Tommy's superman attempts. He pulled a bunch, but I suck at taking pictures so none came out right. The fact that he ended up in this position from a superman is better than actually pulling the superman if you ask me.

Maddie took this one of Balls. It's cool looking and even cooler on weeeed maaaaan. Just kidding.

This is my brother in law's new truck. The human race is fucking doomed.

Catfish line is underway. Expect a bunch of rollers and gimme doubles for all you bottom feeders.

deucequad

Sailor Nick and Steve D. "If this is a waste of time, then i don't want to be productive".

Whatchu know about fake philly steaks?

sometimes life is awesome

2008-06-01T22:31:00.000-07:00

2008-05-21T17:50:00.000-07:00

Been slacking on the blogging tip. No news is good news. We camped at the trails last friday. Eight of us killed a half gallon of evan williams, six twelve packs and a mason jar full of devil's lettuce. Steve vomited fire, but not like "hey check this out, I am going to vomit fire." He just let it rip into the fire pit (the only logical place to puke of course) and i guess all that booze caused a wall of flame that was as much a surprise to him as it was to us. Jay got worked first thing saturday morning. Nose case to Excitebike style vander roll at speed. Not cool. He jacked his shoulder up pretty bad. So if you see Jay give him a pat on the back (preferably not behind the right shoulder). Better days my friend. Here are some pictures, keeping in mind that i never claimed to be Ansel fucking Adams.

steve "the dragon" dailey

I don't know why everyone's shirts are off in these pictures

free tuna steaks because sean meeker is down with the boost

veggies. These things were sooooo good.

ski's foot

ski

All that brown stuff on the fire pit is cooked vomit

sean passed out in poison ivy

sean puffy toes

jay is bummed

Then we went to this cool party at pocahontas state park

waterfall

cabin fever

Then we went to the Torche show in raleigh. Stopped at some cool trails along the way but everything was wet.

i pooped

we left a message for the locals

r.i.p bk lee's downtube

balls refuses to disclose his shoe size

Talledega

trail snail

concrete

2008-05-12T17:01:00.000-07:00

We were having problems with the bottom of the roll-in washing out when it rained. All that water hauling ass off such a steep incline will move quite a bit of dirt. It was causing a pretty bad bump that i was sick of fixing. Aside from the perma-bump, the wood was starting to rot from sitting in moist dirt all the time. So i scored all this free quickcrete and put it to use.

In china and stuff they use bamboo as re-bar. I chose to use re-bar as re-bar.

freebee! freebee! freebee! Courtesy of steve d and the Crofton diving corporation. The wheelbarrow to (isn't it weird that it's wheel "barrow" and not wheel "barrel"? I've been saying wheel"barrel" my whole life. In case you were wondering a "barrow" ,according to the Franklin 1450 electronic pocket dictionary, is a large burial mound of earth and stones)

After crunching some numbers it was clear that 4 bags was not going to be enough concrete so i had to give in and spend money. If you are ever in the market for some concrete make sure you take advantage of the busted bag discount. Lowes usually has a cart in the middle of the aisle loaded with busted bags of concrete. Just take it up to the front, find the dumbest looking cashier and ask her what she can do for you. But do it all cocky and over the top like "yo babygurl hows about hooking it up?" and then give her one of those long dip kisses like in the movies. You'll get your discount for sure. I got four 80 pound bags of masonry cement for the price of one ($10). Masonry cement is cool because it is only the main concrete ingredient without any sand or aggregate (rocks) added to take up space. So when you buy an 80 pound bag you are getting 80 pounds of the good stuff. Then you can add as much sand or rock as you want to get more thrash for your cash. Fortunately, we have access to and endless supply of pristine sand (see below) so we didn't have to bother tracking any down.

at this point panic sets in because it is getting dark, i might not have enough concrete which by the way was mixed way too soupy and my lighter ran out of fluid.

finished just as it was getting dark

insert "eye of the tiger" intro now

go time

2008-05-05T18:40:00.000-07:00

well, we got the first three jumps running and the roller thing works now. it's pretty fun. here are some pictures from today. go to bed dipshits

steve d makes it official

balls will be stoked on this one

before

after

got anymore bad ideas?

2008-04-13T18:32:00.000-07:00

Well the new roller thing is packed up and ready to go. We took some bitch runs at it today and things are looking pretty grim. Still needs a little fine tuning which was expected.

cheap seats

Balls had some fireworks

2008-04-08T18:39:00.000-07:00

Still no riding. With a little more effort shit most likely could have been ridable but first it was too dry and i was too lazy to haul water around in order to shape lips and stuff. Now it's too wet and the dirt sticks to my shovel and it's not fun anymore so i just watch the weather and see that if i wait a day or so this will be way less work. Fuck all that wd-40 bullshit. A beneficial by-product of this logic is an excess of free time which i utilize perfecting ways to waste the most critical years of my life in the woods behind my parent's house including and certainly not limited to: learning knots, making sweet jumps for the fingerbike, observing birds of prey, saying cuss words really loud, the ring game and taking a picture of a shit load of caterpillars!!!!!

rough sketch

Who's sunglasses are these?

easter funday

2008-03-24T18:17:00.000-07:00

Me and Steve went to the Waste show in Richmond Saturday night. I got elbowed in the face and didn't get to stick it in her butt . Jay got pulled over in my car going the wrong way down a one way street after like 19 beers and the mother fucker got away with it by saying "can't do it" when the cop asked him to get out of the car. Steve was asleep by midnight clutching a stromboli. Anyways the plan was that steve and i would rush back to suffolk sunday morning in time to attend easter festivities at our respective grandma's houses, but halfway home we decided that it was way too nice a day to sit around and eat green beans so we chilled at the trails all day.

I didn't take any pictures of us actually digging. There isn't much to see. Just a bunch of dudes standing in a hole. It was too dry to shape or pack anything so we just dumped a bunch of dank clay in front of every lip and landing so we have it at our disposal when it rains. Then its go time

We convinced tommy barnes to come out by telling him everything was ridable and that he should bring his video camera because it was time to clock some footy. sike nigga. He was a good sport about it though.

Man meal

I'm not a psychiatrist but my behavioral observations of Balls fit all the criteria of pyromania. After everyone left we stayed out until like 9 while balls poked the fire with a stick. Who else can say that they smoked chronic on todd wachoviac's front porch on their birthday?

check out ball's holmes

So we spent easter sunday at the trails not riding and it still beat the shit out of grandmas house. Thanks for coming out dudes.

operation roller

2008-03-06T20:27:00.000-08:00

The idea of adding a roller before the first jump has been bouncing around forever. Most people have to take a crank and nothing harshes the mellow more than taking a crank at the trails. It's kind of a major undertaking because until this thing is done we can't ride anything else. What if it doesn't work? i figure it's winter time man, everything else is fucked up beyond recognition anyways. Now is as good a time as any to build the roller ya feel me? i don't really talk like that. Didn't bother pitching the idea to mat v or anything which is a major breach of the digging system of checks and balances typically considered before a major project like this is approved. I sent him pictures from my phone to which he replied "Siiiick!". So i guess that's a thumbs up? not that it matters because if he would have bitched i might have had to half nelson his ass (mat doesn't check the internet so i can talk all the shit I want.) pussy.

Wouldn't it have been cool if i had taken a "before" picture to compare all the after pictures to?

Maybe we can improvise a "before" photo. This was supposed to be a picture of Mitch being cute but you can kind of see the area we are working on. Turns out the most logical place for the roller to go lines up perpendicular to the landing of the existing jump across the path. Which is nice because that jump blows. It's awkward feeling and the jamestown style erosion barrier (although really cool looking) is not very case friendly. It was starting to give me grey hairs so we are glad to see it go.

day one

To save time, we just ripped all the logs down from the jamestown thing and buried them to save dirt. It's a controversial practice. My theory is that logs rot and leave a cavity causing subsidence. The end result is a bump in your lip or landing. They rot faster than you would think. The logs from the jamestown thing were alive less than 9 months ago and by the time we ripped them out you could pinch away chunks of rotten wood with your fingers. On the other hand there is no denying the fact that burying stuff saves saves some digging and it's only a stupid bike track, who gives a shit? get a job punk. In our history burying stuff has worked well as long as it is covered with at least a foot of dirt. Otherwise the hard clay will flex and crack. Kind of like asphalt. Sure enough, burying those logs came back to bite us in the ass.

Mitch paw packs phase one.

day two

somewhere along the line the jamestown (over the path) double turned into this weird berm/roller contraption.

i was going to wait until the whole thing was done to post this but i went out of town this weekend so progress kind of stopped. However, we went to asheville and bombed the coolest mountain road ever to a lucero show. Then while pedaling back up i saw dylan purrington feeble grind a ledge three times in a row at least 35 beers deep. Still got it. Then we met the Get Loose Crew in charlotte where apparently twenty five bucks gets you twice the amount of pot that you get here.

I've put in a few more hours on the roller contraption after work this week, but digging by myself usually ends up on some crazy tangent such as digging a hole around a tree until it falls over.................

2008-03-06T17:50:00.000-08:00

these trees have been dead since that hurricane we had a few years back. we left them standing because they wern't hurting anything plus the woodpeckers were stoked on them. Then they both fell over within 24 hours of each other. Seriously what are the odds? And it wasn't the wind because they fell in different directions. unless someone or something pushed them over, but who the fuck has time to tramp through the woods, push a tree over, then come back a day later and push the tree next to it over? Then again who has time to take pictures of two fallen trees, upload them onto the interweb, and write about it. me. you're god damn right!

redneck fest 08

2008-03-06T14:56:00.000-08:00

Everyone had the day off so we drank beer, drove trucks in the mud, and shot guns all day. It was fun. Highlights include...........

This is the infamous mud hole not far from the trails. You may recognize it from the bonus section in the pimpske video. It doesn't look like much, but to my knowledge no one has ever successfully traversed this thing. It's like a right of passage thing for all the high school kids. Once every couple of months someone will knock on our door late at night asking for a chain or you'll wake up and there will be an abandoned truck in the creek where they called it a night.

Steve gave her a go in the man truck...........to no avail

Coincidently, Marshal (namesake of the double tire stall) and his friend Jud (seen here in the ten gallon hat) had planned a similar day of hillbilly mischief. Jud came packing some heat. He had one of those dirty hairy guns. He let me shoot it. Shit's bananas. At one point it went off by accident. Luckily it wasn't pointed at anyone, but Jud got a pretty wicked powder burn on his hand. Then we lit off some fireworks and ate pizza. i was passed out by 3.

first post

2008-03-04T21:02:00.000-08:00

uh so i kind of accidentally posted everything upside down so you should read this from the bottom up. It's the first post man, cut me some slack.

immaculate horseshoe turd (note the corn). i mean, look at this thing! how did that come out of my butt

completely unrelated penciled creek jump in newport news

This is the other side of the roll-in going into the yet to be completed "kiddy line" The rope swing doesn't work. You just swing right back into the tree every time so it's fun on the way out but coming back is kind of nerve racking.

We've got a roll in. It's kind of hard to explain, but it's really sweet and beats the hell out of pedaling.

We're eight years deep in this mess. Suburbia is slowly but surely creeping towards us and pretty soon i am going to have to grow up so i don't know how much time we have left. The trail yuppies should have a field day with this one. Seems like a surefire way to blow up the spot, but seclusion is on our side i hope. so here goes. Come shred.